The Summer You Left
by jjjaskrox
Summary: Conrad Fisher leaves Cousins Beach thinking that Belly should be with his brother, Jeremiah. Has he made the right decision in letting the love of his life go? Events take a turn when someone else gets involved.
1. Because of You

**~Sequel to "We'll Always Have Summer", by the incredible Jenny Han, in Conrad's POV~**

***Disclaimer: I just really love "The Summer I Turned Pretty" trilogy, yet I own nothing except this story.**

**-My story picks up from the day of Belly & Jeremiah's wedding... right after Conrad gets closure with Belly & says ~goodbye~. :'(**

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><p>CHAPTER 1<p>

_"Because of You"_

I walked away from Isabel Conklin without another word. Closing her bedroom door behind me, I practically lost it right then and there. I couldn't though. Soon Jeremiah Fisher would be heading over to talk to her and straighten things out because after all, they were going to get married here in our summer house... in my mother's house.

I quickly crossed over to my own bedroom at the other end of the hallway and threw my stuff into a vacant duffle bag. For once in my life I didn't care for the mess I was making. Lastly, I grabbed my guitar and made my way toward the stairs. I was going to leave the summer house without being seen. To my misfortune, Jeremiah appeared in the bathroom doorway right at that moment, showered and dressed in his white buttoned-down shirt and khaki shorts. His eyes focused on the darkening bruise he left on my eye earlier. I had deserved it.

"I hope the best for the two of you," I said stiffly.

My brother considered my words and then nodded curtly. The silence from his part was unnerving; Jeremiah had never been the quiet one. I continued toward the stairs because Belly was waiting for _him_. Somehow I managed to mutter a "goodbye" but he remained silent, knowing that I was leaving because he told me to do so. I knew that I hurt him and that things would never go back to the way they once were.

As I cautiously crept down the stairs, I could hear Laurel Conklin in the rec room fussing over Steven Conklin's hair. No matter what, I didn't want either of them to see me; especially Laurel whom was the closest person I had since my mother passed away. The last thing I needed at this moment was for her to see me walk away from my problems just like I always did.

By now, all the chairs and tables had been moved inside because of the bizarre weather. I regretfully caught a glimpse of the flower vases I helped Belly pick out only weeks ago. I ran down the rest of the steps, went right through the kitchen and out the back deck. Thankfully, Belly's mother and brother didn't notice a thing. I barely avoided Jeremiah's obnoxious frat buddies and made it to my car. Before I could get into the driver's seat though, someone's hand clasped my shoulder. I held my breath. _Did Belly change her mind? Was she choosing me?_

I turned around with an eager grin which quickly faded away as soon as my eyes fell on Taylor Jewel. She looked at me reproachfully, withdrawing her hand.

"I'm assuming you thought about our little talk from yesterday," she said.

"I don't have time for this, Taylor," I said.

She lifted an eyebrow. "Where are you going?"

"Does it really matter?"

"I suppose."

I rolled my eyes. Taylor always knew how to push me to the edge. "California," I simply said.

She chewed the inside of her cheeks, thinking over my response. I was on the verge of irritation. The longer I stayed in Cousins Beach, the harder it was going to be for me to leave.

"Does she know?" Taylor finally spoke. By "she" I knew she was referring to her best friend, Belly.

"I suppose." I purposely repeated her own words.

Taylor smirked for a second. "Take care."

"And you take care of—"

"I will, Conrad," she finished for me. She must have caught onto my impatience.

After Taylor moved aside to allow me to enter my car, I didn't turn back once as I gunned it out of there. Surely the wedding was going to start soon and the furthest I was from there, the better.


	2. Walk Away

**Sorry for the lag... I blame school.**

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><p>CHAPTER 2<p>

_"Walk Away"_

The last minute flight to Northern California was unbearable. Images of Belly walking down the aisle toward Jeremiah, and saying a certain pair of words, beat at my thoughts. The feeling in the pit of my stomach was enough to drive anyone mad. So why did I take so long to speak up? Why did I wait so many years to tell her how I truly felt? It was true what I told Jeremiah back at our mom's memorial, how I don't think I'll ever love anyone else besides Belly. I know I made the wrong choice to give up on her, my promise to take care of Jeremiah set aside. Did I truly believe that Jere could make her happy? Not completely. He cheated on her with another girl while vacationing in Cabo. How could one be so sure he wouldn't do it again? What is that persistent saying again? Once a cheater always a cheater… Either way, she forgave him for that.

It infuriated me that Jere had been disappointing her so much lately and she still wanted to marry him. But then again, who was I to judge? If anyone was a pro at disappointing her it was me. So many times I'd stood by and watched her suck in her lips and crinkle her nose to keep from crying after something I said or did. So many times I'd let her get hurt without doing anything to fix it because that's just the way I am. I walk away from problems.

When we dated over two years ago I was at my happiest. But as Susannah's time shortened day by day, I didn't know how to deal with it all. I forgot what happiness was meant to be. It didn't feel right to wear a smile knowing that my mother was approaching her end. As I turned colder and colder, Belly fought to cling onto me, in a way, but I didn't care for her intensions. My pain over the unbearable process of losing my mother kept me from realizing how unhealthy my relationship with Belly was becoming. I was dragging her into something painful, something dark. Eventually I caught onto the hurt that I was ensuing on her and I knew I had to break it off.

That was my mistake though. I should have known then that only Belly could understand the pain that I was going through. After all, Susannah Fisher had always been like a second mother to Belly. She too was losing someone important. Perhaps if I would have stayed with Belly, she could have helped me get through the heartache from losing my mother. We would have been there for each other. But at the time, I was a moron, still am actually… One could get straight A's in school and be studying to be a doctor but in the only area in which I failed countless times was love. What was love anyways? If you look it up on the dictionary, you'll find a meaningless denotative explanation. But the reality of it all is in the feeling you get when you're looking at a certain someone; when you're close to them; when you can only picture yourself with them.

Either way, I lost Belly because I chose to walk away.

xxx

Arriving in California I had no idea where to go. It was the end of July. The dorms at Stanford University wouldn't be opening until the third week of September. Suddenly a thought came to mind. My ex-girlfriend Agnes lives near the school. It would be wrong to ask her for a place to stay but my options were limited. "I'm a jerk," I muttered to myself.


	3. I Hate Myself for Losing You

CHAPTER 3

"_I Hate Myself for Losing You"_

Her hair was even shorter than it had been when we dated months ago. She looked genuinely happy to see me. "Conrad!" Agnes threw her arms around me. I hesitantly hugged her back. She pulled away and gasped, finally noticing my bruised face. "What happened to you?"

I wasn't in the mood for spilling my feelings out in the middle of this busy airport. She instantly picked up on my silence and didn't push the question any further. Spill my feelings… Did I really just consider doing such a thing? This was definitely taking a toll on me.

We arrived at her parents' house in Redwood City about an hour later. She showed me the guest room where I would be staying. I never met her parents and didn't think I wanted to. Luckily they were away on vacation for the next three weeks. That would be more than enough time to get a temporary place of my own, maybe a studio or an apartment. Agnes insisted I could stay as long as I needed but I didn't plan to impose on her hospitality for too long.

We ordered Chinese food for dinner. I played with my chop sticks, hunger not approaching my empty stomach.

Agnes pointed at my face abruptly. "Shouldn't you put ice on that?"

"It doesn't hurt that much."

I could tell she didn't believe me but she didn't say anything.

I tried eating again but my hands wouldn't stop trembling. Who knew it was so difficult to use chop sticks with shaky hands?

"Who did it?" she asked.

I assumed she was asking who punched me. "Does it really matter?"

"Conrad, you show up in Cali all of a sudden with a huge bruise on your face and a disturbingly depressed aura hanging all around you and you expect me to not care?" She frowned. "Don't you want to at least get it all out of your system? Well, whatever is it that is bothering you."

The only thing bothering me at the moment is you and your inquiries; I thought but couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. After all, she opened the door to her house for me on such a short notice.

I sighed heavily. "By this time, my brother is probably on his honeymoon."

"Oh. He got married today?"

"Yes." Just that single word had my voice already close to cracking.

She observed me for a second, more than I felt comfortable with. "Shouldn't you be happy for him?"

"I don't know. Is it wrong to not feel happy for the guy who married my girl?"

She set her chop sticks down. "Belly. The girl you told me you'd only ever loved."

Hearing her name said out loud was difficult. I nodded and could no longer hold it all in. I put my head down and let my emotions get the best of me. Only two other people had ever seen me cry: Belly and Laurel. It was a weakness I preferred to not have and least of all display. But as I sat there at Agnes' dinner table, I let it all out. She silently stood up and rubbed my back soothingly. I felt like a child.

Eventually when I pulled myself together I told her everything that had happened the past few years. And how the only reason why I moved to California was because I allowed Jere to be with Belly even though I still loved her. How I had made a promise to take care of him on my mother's death bed. What I left out was how much I hate myself for losing her.

Agnes didn't offer up any typical advice. She knew it wouldn't help anyways. It was just another thing I was grateful for.


	4. Don't Waste Your Time

CHAPTER 4

_"Don't Waste Your Time"_

That night I didn't sleep much. I mostly just stared at the ceiling. I wondered how Laurel was dealing with it all. I hadn't called her yet and she'd probably be worried. I'd have to give her a call as soon as I decided to turn my cell phone on.

In the morning I heard Agnes bustling around in the kitchen. She was making breakfast. I freshened up and joined her. As she was flipping over an omelet she glanced at me. "You didn't get much sleep."

"I'll adapt."

Sadness appeared in her hazel-colored eyes. "I wish I could do something to help."

"Thanks."

I was thankful, really. But I couldn't stand pity. So after an awkward breakfast, I went for a jog by the neighborhood park. I wish I were back in Cousins jogging along the coast instead.

Upon returning to her house, I brought some chicken breasts and stuff for salad.

"So what are you going to do?" she asked as I opened up the packages of chicken.

"Grill them?"

She shook her head. "I mean, what are you going to do to get Belly back?"

I stared at her in disbelief. "I can't do anything. My brother loves her. Besides, it's too late anyways."

"You love her too."

"It's not that simple."

"Are you sure?"

I rolled my eyes.

"I just hate seeing you like this," she admitted.

"Don't worry. I'll be out of your hair as soon as I find a place to stay."

"Conrad—"

"Agnes, I appreciate this. Honestly. But I prefer to be alone. It's always been that way."

"I guess I understand," she said defeated.

xxx

By the end of the following week I managed to find an affordable apartment closer to the shore but still near Stanford. Agnes helped me settle in. She wasn't happy about me moving out so soon but it wasn't up to her to decide what I did with my life. I sulked in my new home for the next week. She'd stop by a few times and it didn't take me long to realize the existing feelings she has for me, feelings that shouldn't be there for many reasons. The first being the most important: I couldn't stop thinking about Belly. I kept recalling the look on her face when I surprised her on Valentine's Day. Or when we'd talk on the phone every evening; I always looked forward to helping her out with math homework. Then the time I taught her the rules of infinity zoomed into my head. Before hand, it was like I knew deep down inside that she was my infinity. No matter where life took us, she'd always be present in my heart.

_Get it together. _My own voice whispered in my head. I was driving myself insane with nostalgia and regret. All I'd pretty much done since I went back to California was mope.

Suddenly a lightbulb clicked inside my head. I jumped out of bed and rummaged through my guitar case. Susannah would have the answer. My mom's letter was hidden in the compartment where I kept my guitar picks and Dunlop. I was going to read it for the second time. My mom always said the right things. Before unfolding it I had to think whether it would be right to read it again. Today wasn't my wedding day. The purpose of the letters she wrote to us kids was so that we'd open them on our wedding days. The only reason I'd already read mine was because my letter was accidentally put inside Jere's envelope. No matter how wrong it felt though, I knew her words would make me feel better.

_Dear Conrad,_

_I never knew anyone smarter than you. I believe you'll learn to make the right choices. Jeremiah looks up to you. Even if the two of you are at odds sometimes, you'll always be brothers. Don't ever forget that bond that can never be broken._

_On your wedding day I picture you already out of college with a degree in Medical Science. I picture a beautiful girl walking down the aisle, making her way toward you. _Your girl has long, thick hair that compliments the freckles on her nose. Her mystical gray eyes are only on you. _She's the girl you've loved for years. Your girl is Belly, our Belly. _

_I always knew she'd marry one of my boys. I knew and I hoped. What seem to be my last few months have been wonderful. I got the chance to see you in love. This is the happiest I've ever seen you in fact. I know how much you care for Belly and we all know she returns the same feelings. The two of you belong together; it's inevitable. _

_Today is your wedding day and it's with Isabel Conklin, soon to be Isabel Fisher. Forgive me for not being physically present but I am spiritually there with you. Conrad, the love of a mother is undying. I know you're angry with me for leaving but I'll always be there with you through the toughest and best of times. Whenever you're in doubt, just go to Cousins and stay close to Laurel. I guarantee you she'll always remind you of me just like the rest of our summer family will. A piece of me is in each one of you: my motherly love and understanding is in Laurel; my friendship and peace is in Jeremiah; my grace and adventure is in Belly, my humor and sterness is in Steven, and lastly my strength and goodwill is in you, my eldest son. Don't ever think that you're alone because in reality, you have your whole summer family to fall back on, including your dad. I know you don't have the best relationship with him but please make the effort._

_I now leave you to attend my beloved daughter-in-law. Make her happy. Show her love. Don't ever waste your time together. And always give her strength like you did for me. _

_Nothing but love from your mother,_

_Susannah Fisher_


	5. Behind These Hazel Eyes

CHAPTER 5

"_Behind These Hazel Eyes"_

Okay I was wrong. My mother's letter only made everything worse. I went to the local liquor store and bought a bottle of Tequila, a 12-pack of Corona, and random snacks. The cashier didn't even ask to see my I.D. I knew it was no help but I spent the rest of the day indulging myself in stupidity. It worked though. The internal pain I'd been feeling the past few days subsided.

The couch I was sitting on turned into a large, soft cloud that swayed in and out of reality. Laughter filled my chest and I waved my arms around to the crowd cheering for me. Or was that commotion coming from the TV? An annoying tune began blasting from within the walls. I wondered if I was going to have to cut the electricity to make the noise stop.

As I chugged my 7th Corona or my… who was counting anyways… a lion roared from out in the hallway. I wondered what the number for the exterminator was. Or is that animal control's job? I stumbled over to the door to greet Simba, a bag of Cheetos in my hand. I opened the door but instead of finding locks of orange fur I faced my ex-girlfriend. What was her name again?

"Heyyyyy!" I slurred. "I would have made real food if I knew you were coming over um… Angie."

"It's Agnes. Have you been—" she stopped short when she took in the scene behind me.

I chuckled. "It was a pack of wolves, I swear Annie."

She rushed past me and surveyed the beer bottles and wrappers littering the living room floor. "You can't do this to yourself, Conrad."

When she began picking up my mess I served myself another shot of Tequila. "Want one?" She took the bottle away from me. "Give it back, Andy!"

"No!" She held it behind her back thinking I wouldn't try to get it.

I reached around her but as she backed away I lost my balance and toppled forward. She didn't have time to move out of the way and I landed on top of her. The bottle went crashing down with us and luckily we didn't land on the glass. She shoved against my chest. "Your breath stinks," she nagged.

"Belly, did you cut your hair? I like it long better," I couldn't stop myself from gawking.

"Get off of me and I'm not Belly, I'm Agnes." She tried to push me off of her again but I wouldn't budge.

"Where did your freckles go?" I ran my thumb slowly down her nose. She froze under my touch. I smirked. "I still make you nervous, don't I Bells?"

"Listen to yourself! You're drunk off your ass," she merely screamed.

"Infinity," I muttered.

"What?" she couldn't have looked more confused.

I leaned down closer to her face; our lips were only an inch apart. "When was the last time we were this close? I miss being near you." Before I could so much as give her a peck on the mouth, her knee made contact with my crotch.

The pain that shot through me was enough to get me to roll off of her. I landed in a puddle of Tequila. Imagine swimming in it…

"Belly, what was that for?" I groaned. "Don't you understand how much I love you?"

Tears spilled out of her eyes. I pushed myself off of the floor and took her in my arms even if my buddy down there was aching. "Did you choose me? Is that why you're here?

"Conrad…" she whispered. "You have to stop."

"Stop what? Stop loving you? That's impossible." I tried to kiss her again but she struggled out of my hold. I stared at her in disbelief.

The back of my shirt was drenched in alcohol and all I wanted to do was dance to make her smile. I shot up and grabbed her hands to pull her up with me. "Remember when I taught you how to dance?" I twirled her around twice and just doing that made me dizzy. "When did the room start spinning?"

"You need to lie down before—"

She didn't get a chance to finish that sentence because my stomach gave out on me right at that moment. She moved out of the way just in time. It made me laugh. "And I thought you were the only lightweight here," I crowed.

She ran into the kitchen and returned with a rag and a handful of paper towels. She cleaned off my mouth and hustled me into the bathroom. I tried to argue with her but she insisted I brush my teeth. Before getting the chance to do so, I retched into the toilet. She sighed heavily and shoved a tooth brush into my hand. "Seriously, you have no idea how terrible your breath smells," she said. "Oh and some mouth wash wouldn't hurt either."

"Then I guess it's a good thing you refuse to kiss me," I said bitterly.

"I guess so. I'm going to clean up the mess in the living room. Will you be okay if I leave you alone for a bit?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm fine, Bells."

She closed her eyes after I said her name. She took a deep breath and opened them again. This time I looked carefully at her eyes. Those weren't the ones I'd grown to love. Belly's eyes were far from being hazel. "Are you wearing contacts?"

"FOR SHIT'S SAKE! I. AM. NOT. BELLY. I'M AGNES, YOUR FRIEND. AND YOU'RE CONRAD, A DRUNKEN MORON!"

That unexpected outburst stung worse than a jellyfish sting. Not that I'd been stung by one before. What would that feel like anyways... I blinked a couple of times and finally my mind settled on the girl before me. Fresh new tears adorned her face. I reached for her but she took several steps away from me. It was almost as if she was afraid.

While I brushed my teeth, Agnes cleaned up. I tried to apologize but she kept waving it off. I seriously had confused her for Belly. This shit was hitting me worse than I thought.


	6. I Do Not Hook Up

**So like Devin, ya gotta be patient girl, a'ight? And H20polochick, thank you for your reviews! haha I haven't forgotten about Belly. ;P **

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><p>CHAPTER 6<p>

_"I Do Not Hook Up"_

"Drunk and stupid. Do you think I wanted this for you?"

"Sorry… Mom, I can't stop screwing up."

Susannah Fisher frowns, trailing her fingers through a large mound of sand. "You'll figure it out; you're a smart boy." She rescues a colorful seashell from within the sand pile and holds it in her hand, observing every emission of color illuminated by the sun.

"But you just called me stupid," I point out."

Her tone lightens. "It was stupid of you to think alcohol would help. Only you can help yourself."

"What does that even mean?" I pause, knowing she won't clarify anything, expecting me to figure it out on my own. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Mom gazes at me knowingly. I have to avert my eyes to keep from tearing up. She'd been making random appearances in my dreams as of late. That was what I enjoyed about sleeping. Sometimes it brought my mom back to me and it felt so comforting that I didn't want to wake up to the harsh reality of her absence ever again.

"How is it possible that I've lost the people I most care about in such a short time?"

"You haven't truly lost anyone, Connie."

Connie. I hated that nickname yet it was only okay when she said it. I take the clam-shaped seashell from her hand and examine it. There are no ridges, just a flat surface. It feels cool and smooth against my skin; its perfection mocks me.

We're perched on a flat rock, facing the waves lapping along Cousins' shoreline. I sit here peacefully with the wind whirling around us. These dreams of mine always take me back to where my happiness exists and where I feel at home.

_That's it..._

"I have to go back!" I exclaim enthusiastically. The excitement in my voice surprises me.

Mom lets out a sigh of relief. "That's exactly what I've been waiting to hear."

And just as quickly as it came to me, my breakthrough soon comes to a devastating halt. "No. I can't go back. I have no business being there anymore."

"Conrad. Look at me."

I take in her appearance: the pale glow emanating from her face; the pair of soft, dark eyes studying me; the large straw hat sitting atop her head; and the cream-colored sun dress she loved to wear summer after summer. For some reason, as I sit here with her, it feels final. As if it's the last time she'll be visiting me in my dreams. Mom waits patiently until my undivided attention is on her. "Do you remember why you bought Belly her infinity necklace?"

Her question catches me off guard although it doesn't take me much time before answering, "Of course I do. There are moments like those that one can never forget no matter how hard they try."

"There's no point in trying. True love isn't something you can just erase. It nags at you from the moment it appears and follows you forever just like I know Belly will."

I'm about to shake my head to disagree but she silences me with a stern glare.

"Go home to her baby."

Both of her hands come up to my face to rest on my cheeks. Of course I can't physically feel her but it's enough to remind me of the warmth she once had. The effect of her gentleness penetrates my skin and spreads through me like a wild fire. Already I sense her drifting away. I clear my mind long enough to locate the right memory just before she disappears into a vast land of sea and air.

Three years ago was the summer Belly turned pretty. Well, she'd always been pretty but that summer I finally noticed just how much she'd grown. I didn't want to; it felt wrong. She was like a little sister to me for so many years that it didn't feel right to look at her the way I was starting to. That was one of the reasons why I spent a lot of my time hiding away in my room or taking extra shifts at work. It was difficult seeing and desiring her without being able to do something about it. However, I knew that if I told Belly how I felt, she'd hand her heart over to me, no questions asked.

That summer there was one specific night that changed everything. Looking back on it, it was definitely one of my top moments even if it didn't start out exceptionally peachy.

I'd been sitting on my bedroom floor strumming some chords on the guitar. Attempting to distract myself from thinking about Belly was working with minimal luck. She was off somewhere with Cam Cameron. _He better be treating her right_, I thought. Of course I was only uneasy about him being her first boyfriend. _Did she even consider that loser her boyfriend? Who would trust a straight edge anyways? He's probably filled with a bunch of shit._

I couldn't stop peering ever so often out my window. It was getting late and I was growing impatient. After a while my guitar was no longer helping the cause so I sat on my bed where I had a clear view of the road and driveway. Maybe an hour or so later I heard the purr of an engine approaching and a stupid car appeared on the edge of the driveway. It was them. My eyes wouldn't look away and I had to get closer to the window to have a better view of them down below. There she was, talking animatedly, a smile growing on her face. Cam Cameron was looking at her with hungry eyes. I clenched my fists. I saw her reach for the door handle. _Good, she's coming inside, maybe we can watch a movie_.

But then I saw Cam Cameron lean over, a little too closely, and he was kissing her. My fists tightened. _Slap him, Belly_. To my surprise she kissed him back. I even thought I saw her eyes wander up to my bedroom window so I quickly moved out of her sight. _I only care because she's like a little sitter, _I repeated in my head a many times. When I forced myself to look out the window again, she was getting out of his car with a dreamy look upon her face. I pound my fist against the wall and didn't even flinch at the pain.

I spent the rest of the night lying in my bed, fingers inching towards a box of cigarettes from atop my nightstand. So it was true what I suspected. Belly was over me. How could that even be possible? She'd fawned over me for so long and after a few dates with Cam Cameron, she was suddenly really into him? I didn't want to believe it. But then again, why should I care? It's not as if I liked her. She was better off with anyone else besides me.

Memories of summers past boggled my mind as I tried to sleep. Every time I defended Belly when we were kids; when I ignored Taylor to make Belly feel better; the little things I knew about her from simply observing over the years; how beautiful she looked when she swam for hours late into the night… I jumped out of bed, grabbed my car keys and sped into town.

_I like her. I like Belly_. I remember muttering to myself on the drive into town. I liked everything about her. I hated seeing her with Cam Cameron. I'd probably hate seeing her with anyone else for that matter. My heart beat roughly against my chest as the sun was already rising into the sky. The jewelry store in the mall would be open in two hours. I parked and slept in my car until it was time. It didn't take me long to find it. The infinity necklace I'd seen the last time I went in there with mom sat idly for display. All I kept picturing in my head was Belly wearing it with me by her side. I'd give it to her for her 16th birthday which was coming up. I'd get her alone out on the beach and present it to her, maybe even kiss her. She wasn't with Cam because she was over me; she was with him because she was trying to get over me. But if I could give her this infinity necklace, she'd know that I don't want her to get over me. Because whether it happened at that instant or in years to come, we would be Belly and Conrad Fisher, always.

I woke up with a start. I was semi glad to be back in my apartment. The first thing that came into mind was how stupid and naïve I'd been that morning I bought the infinity necklace. When her birthday finally rolled around I didn't even have the balls to give it to her then. I let out an exasperated sigh. Someone stirred beside me in bed. I froze. _Uh oh_.

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><p><strong>By the time you read this, you will have read it.<strong>

**Reviews? ;o]**


	7. Long Shot

Chapter 7

_"Long Shot__"_

"Morning," her sleepy voice filled the quietness of my apartment.

I rolled to the side and found myself face to face with Agnes. I shut my eyes. _What happened last night? _We being in bed together couldn't be a good sign. Panic hit me and I sat up suddenly, blinking several times. Indeed she was lying beside me, peering up with hopeful eyes. I looked down at myself; boxers were all I had on.

"OH. Did—did we?" My voice trailed off. The vile taste of puke lingered on my tongue from last night.

I tried formulating a proper question in my head but a distant dream overpowered my thoughts. I glanced at Agnes. No wonder Susannah was disappointed in the way I was handling things. Rubbing my thumbs over my temples I said, "Agnes?"

She sat up too, pulling a blanket close to her body. She at least had a shirt on beneath the covers, I could tell. "It's not what you think," she said quickly. "You needed to be taken care of last night and so I stayed here with you just like you asked me to." She brushed her hand over mine.

I flinched at her touch and got out of bed. A pounding headache was already at work gnawing away at the little patience remaining there. "Whatever I might have said or done last night, forget it. Okay?" I looked around for a towel. "You didn't have to spend the night here no matter how drunk I was."

She opened her mouth to say something but I tuned her out. _What did I say or do last night?_ The last thing I remembered was of me taking Tequila shots to drown out my sorrows in a land of idiocy. _Oh great, it turns out I'm becoming poetic now_. "You should go," I announced firmly. Looking her in the eye was increasingly becoming difficult. I continued searching for that towel. I was in dire need of a cold shower.

"I'm not leaving you here alone again. Last night... It was bad."

I didn't really want to hear about it but I couldn't help asking, "How bad?"

"You thought I was her."

This time I quit avoiding her face and made eye contact with her. "I thought you were Belly?"

Nodding slowly she fidgeted with her short hair.

_How could I mistake her for Belly? They look nothing alike! That explained why I apparently asked her to stay the night... _For some aching reason it reminded me of the morning I caught Belly leaving Jere's room. It was after I had that big fight with him. When we revealed to everyone that we knew about how sick Mom was. Belly hadn't suspected a thing which pretty much shattered her once she found out the truth. Beforehand she declared her undying love for me and I turned her off cold. Afterward I went somewhere far and drank all night. When I returned at dawn I saw Belly quietly sneaking out of Jere's room. All night I had thought about her and the fact that she loved me. But then there I was, watching her creep out of Jeremiah's room silently as if she didn't want anyone to know. Terrible thoughts raced in my mind, assuming only the worst of why she'd spent the night with Jere or rather, what they might have done. So, just before Belly reached her room I made sure she knew I saw everything. I'd been beating myself up for how I treated her and meanwhile she'd been comforting my brother. I was suffering too but obviously Jere came first because after all, they'd always been best friends.

"I can't let that happen again," Agnes said, extracting me out of my retentions.

"I'll be alright."

"I don't know…"

"You can't fix me Agnes!" That came out harsh. At this point I didn't care how ungrateful I was being. I just needed to rethink the dream I had of Mom.

"I'm not trying to 'fix you'! I'm just trying to be a good friend."

I huffed. "Yeah well I think you're in over your head. Besides, this isn't only about you being my friend, right?" _Okay, so that was a dick-move._

Agnes didn't know what to say.

"Just go."

She stumbled out of bed, looking for her shoes. "You're an ass."

"I've been called worse, trust me."

Agnes stuffed her feet inside her shoes and grabbed a clump of keys from the bedside table. "Even if you won't admit it, you need to fix things with this girl. Trust me." She mimicked my tone.

"You think I haven't figured that out?"

Just before she stepped out of the room she called over her shoulder, "Go home." A slamming door followed soon after and I stood there in shock. Mom practically said the same thing in my dream._ Go home to her baby. _And that was exactly what I planned to do. Even if it was a long shot, I was going to try to hit the ball out of the park. Right after a quick shower and a phone call.


	8. My Life Would Suck Without You

Chapter 8

_"My Life Would Suck Without You"_

It was amazing how lucky a guy could get. I scored a cheap, last minute plane ticket to Boston at two o'clock which meant I'd be arriving there at night.

I felt guilty for doing it but I called Agnes and asked if she could do me one last favor and drive me to the airport. She came right over and in silence we headed to the already packed airport. We hugged at the terminal and parted ways with the ghost of what could have been drifting away.

While waiting to board my flight I called Laurel. I'd wanted to do so back at the apartment but I ran out of time getting my stuff together.

"Conrad?" she answered by the second ring. Her familiar voice made my heart clench.

"My Laura," I said, smiling. Ever since I could remember, that had been what I called her.

The line went quiet on the other end. She was upset. I didn't blame her. Finally, she spoke, a trace of accusation present in her voice. "A heads up would have been nice or maybe even—"

"I couldn't handle any more goodbyes. That's why I left without saying anything to you."

"Are you alright?"

"I guess so... I'm sorry for not calling you sooner."

"Forget it." That's what I liked most about her; Laurel didn't linger on every detail like mothers usually did. "Where are you?"

"Cali."

"I figured. Are you going to continue school there?"

"Maybe."

"You know, your dad's been worried about you, too."

I recalled the last part of mom's letter: _I know you don't have the best relationship with him but please make the effort._

"I'll talk to him soon," I promised. There would be plenty of time to catch up with my dad. At the moment, getting back to Belly was my first priority.

"Good," she said. "Conrad, there's something you need to know."

"What's up?" I braced myself, not wanting to miss whatever it was she was about to tell me because it sounded urgent.

"There was no wedding."

I merely dropped the phone. _Was I hearing correctly? _

"They called it off," she added.

At that moment I forgot how to breathe. _They called it off_. Thoughts ran in different directions inside my head making me feel all sorts of emotions at once. This had to be a sign.

"_Flight number 118 to Boston is now boarding,"_ a female's cheery voice projected throughout the waiting area.

"What was that?" Laurel said. I'd almost forgotten I was still on the phone with her.

"Gotta go!" I said into the mouthpiece as I headed for the boarding bridge, ticket in hand.

"Conrad are you—" I hung up before she could finish the sentence. She wouldn't be minding in a couple of hours anyway.

xxx

All the lights were off in the summer house. It was past midnight when a cab finally dropped me off at the heart of Cousins. I thought about going home first to fetch my car but I wasn't sure how Jeremiah would handle my return just yet. So, instead I went to Cousins because I was in need of time to think and what better place to do so than at the root of the problem, where it all started.

Originally I'd planned to go straight to her but figured I needed a game plan. I couldn't afford to mess up this time.

I ran upstairs to my room, dumped my luggage on the floor and fought the urge to knock out. Exhaustion from the lengthy plane ride was taking a toll on me but I wasn't ready to sleep.

I moved around the house in the darkness. Light was the last thing my tired eyes wanted. It was a good thing I knew my way around so well. Downstairs I came across the horrendous hurricane vases that I helped Belly pick out for the wedding. They sat on the living room floor as if they actually had a purpose being there. In the kitchen, the sink was filled with dirty dishes. _Why would there be dirty dishes if the house was vacant?_ Because I liked cleanness, I retrieved a dish towel from a cupboard. I found an old one with three printed palm trees at each corner. It reminded me of Mom. My hands shook and I dropped the towel. As I bent to pick it up I noticed there was sand on the floor. I shook my head. Whoever was last to leave the house obviously forgot to clean up. It was an unspoken rule we'd all abide.

I was walking out onto the deck in search of the dust pan when I smelled it. Just one whiff and I knew someone was there. Smoking. A few years ago I picked up smoking to release my anger. Mom didn't say anything. But Dad and Jeremiah did and they gave me hell for it. I didn't listen to them and continued with my bad habit. But when Belly made it clear how much she disliked it, I stopped. I quit because of her. No one knew that.

Just as I was going to flick the back lights on her sobs carried over to where I stood. _No. Way. _

"Belly?" I called out, unsure whether I should go ahead and turn on the lights or not. I didn't need assistance from light to know that it was definitely Belly whom was out there.

There was no answer.

"Someone once told me that smoking is bad for you," I called out grimacing at the memory from three summers ago.

Still, no answer.

I would have to find her myself. It wasn't hard, her sobs weren't exactly quiet. She was on the other side of the pool in the most shadowy part of the deck where the moon's brightness didn't temper with the night. I strode over to her and pushed aside the fleeting thoughts that attacked my head. She was hugging her knees to her chest and taking a drag from a cigarette when I caught her in mid act and snatched it away.

She stood up suddenly, unbalanced and slow. Evidently she was drunk. I surveyed our surroundings until my eyes fell upon the beer cans around the floor. The scene looked a little too similar.

"Hey I wasn't done with that!" She reached forward but I dropped the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with my foot.

Belly looked down to the ground and then back up at me. Her eyes were puffy and her hair was a tangled mess. Being this close to her was making me feel confused and anxious.

"So you're back, huh?" she questioned with narrowed eyes. "I thought you were going to stay away for a while. What happened to those plans? Or did you find out that Jeremiah and I broke it off? Did you come back here to laugh at me?"

I shook my head. This wasn't _my _Belly. This was drunken, delusional Belly. I reached and hauled her up over my shoulder effortlessly. Immediately she kicked and whined. I did my best to ignore her. I carried her into the house and didn't stop until we reached the hallway bathroom.

"What do you think you're doing?" she screamed.

I didn't answer. Instead I placed her inside the shower. She slipped and landed on her butt. She tried to get up but the room seemed to be spinning in her perspective. I knew by the way her eyes kept flickering around. I turned on the cold water and watched it rain over her, fully clothed and all. She complained and threatened to kill me as soon as it was all over.

I stepped out, feeling sufficiently awkward. Five minutes went by and I brought dry clothes from the dresser in her room and laid it out on the dry side of the sink. I waited out in the hallway. As time dragged on, I paced. Belly was right to ask what I was doing. I didn't even know what I was doing. Finding Belly out there like the way I did angered me. It was my fault.

Finally she stepped out of the bathroom, hair dripping wet. I stopped pacing. By the look on her face I wasn't sure if she was going to yell at me or go through with her plans to kill me. I steadied myself, awaiting her wrath that maybe I did deserve.

"Conrad..."

She launched herself into my arms and cried. Her whole body shook. I picked her up, this time cradling her against my chest. I carried her upstairs and set her down gently on her bed. I was going to leave her there for the night and let her sober up calmly. I was going to walk away and pretend tonight hadn't happened. But when she looked up at me with those big, hopeful eyes, my whole world came crashing down on me.

My knees felt weak so I sat down on the side of her bed.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

I thought it would be easy. To ask Belly to take me back. To ask for her forgiveness. But it wasn't. Now that I was only inches away from her, I felt further than ever. This wasn't the way I wanted our reconciliation, if at all, to go.

"Get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning," I said. I sounded like such an adult then. It scared me.

"You mean, you're staying?"

I looked at her again. She was holding herself up with one elbow, still trying to wipe tears from her face with her free arm. I reached for a tissue box that sat on the night stand and handed her a handful of tissues.

"If that's okay with you," I answered.

She reached for my hand. I hesitated but handed it to her anyway. Our fingers entwined. If it weren't for the light of the moon entering through the windows, I wouldn't be able to look down at our joined hands. It knocked the breath right out of me. Was this truly happening? Somehow, and I don't know how, I ended up lying down beside her, our fingers still linked together. I never wanted to let go.

"Belly," I whispered into the oblivion, not even sure if she was still awake.

"Just relax for now," she whispered back.

She inched closer to me. I could easily wrap my arms around her and hold her close but I decided against it. I wanted things to happen the right way. And the right thing to do was to wait. So I did just that. I waited for her to fall asleep and then carefully extracted my hand from hers.

I slept in my own bedroom and dreamed about the first time we kissed and the first time we danced. Although surreal, even dreams can make you fall in love all over again.

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><p><strong>Thank you for your lovely reviews! :')<strong>

**BTW, originally I planned to incorporate the way things ended in We'll Always Have Summer (ya know, the years later part) but I've decided to go about this story in a slightly different direction. Yup~**

**Reviews? ;o**


	9. Breaking Your Own Heart

Chapter 9

_"Breaking Your Own Heart"_

I used to hate rainy days in Cousins. We couldn't go out on the beach or to the boardwalk without our moms fussing over us. _"You might get sick." "If you run out there you'll slip and fall." _As kids, we didn't care. We just wanted to have fun.

One day it was raining hard and the four of us were in the rec room watching _Little Rascals_ when Belly said, "I want to go outside. I want to go out on the beach." She'd been glancing out the window often.

Steven gave her a look. "In this weather? As if Mom will let you."

"She doesn't have to know," Belly winked.

I hid the smirk pulling at my lips. She was 7, about to turn 8, and already she was adventurous. I admired her for that.

"We're not allowed to go out during storms for a reason," Jeremiah said as he paused the movie. He looked worried. Jere always worried for her.

Belly grinned. "They don't have to know." She stood up and disappeared into the hallway.

"You're not going out there Isabel Conklin!" Steven yelled out purposely for all of Cousins to hear.

Laurel caught Belly searching for a coat in the hallway closet and scolded her.

I glared at Steven. "Nice going."

"What? She can't always get everything she wants," he scoffed.

I said, "That was really childish of you."

Belly never came back to continue watching _Little Rascals_ with us. She stayed in her room. Later on I went upstairs when Steven and Jeremiah were in the middle of a wrestling match.

I knocked.

"If you're here to make fun of me, Steven, I'm going to tell mom."

I opened the door and she looked so surprised to see me that she dropped the book she'd been reading.

"Put your raincoat on."

She stared at me. "But my mom said—"

"It'll only be for a bit. She won't even notice."

And so we sneaked out through the back when no one was paying attention and we ran to where the waves were violently arriving at the shore. We slipped a few times. Who knew we'd end up doing the same thing later on when we dated?

xxx

I woke up before her. I checked the fridge and cabinets for food and all I found were half-eaten Poptarts and frozen pizza. Typical Belly. I drove out to the local market and bought real food. When I returned to the house there was a cab parked out front._ She's leaving?_ I left the groceries on the kitchen counter and proceeded up the stairs to her room. Her door was ajar and as I approached I heard her murmuring into the phone.

"For the hundredth time Taylor, I'm all right... Stop worrying... Yes... I'll see you soon."

I knocked hesitantly.

"I gotta go," I heard her say before opening the door.

She sucked in a breath at the sight of me. "You really are here."

I scratched my head.

A painful pin-dropping silence passed between us until she spoke again. "I think I heard the taxi driver honk the horn." She went to grab her overnight bag off her bed.

I took it from her. "Stay."

She blinked as if she didn't recognize me.

"Please?"

She shook her head and made a point of wanting me to get out of her way so she could leave. The joke was on her because I wasn't giving up.

"I said goodbye to you, Belly. I left. The little time I spent in California was shitty. The way I found you last night... that's how I was two days ago. But a friend helped me out and I grew the courage to return for you. I want to be with you. Remember all those times I drew you in and pushed you away? I don't want to do that anymore; I won't do that anymore. I want to be the guy you can depend on. I want to make you happy like I know I can."

I stopped to take a breath. I was always so vulnerable with her that once I started, I couldn't stop.

"Bells?"

Her head was down. I couldn't even see her face. I wanted to hold her.

"You're an idiot if you think I'll take you back just like that," she said.

Her words bore into me like acid. She'd never spoken to me like that before.

"I'm an idiot for being ashamed of loving you," I spit back.

She lifted her head. Her eyes were filled with hurt.

I wasn't done though. "I've been ashamed for years. I didn't know how to love you the right way. How to keep you close without hurting you. I thought that if I kept you at arm's length you'd eventually give up. But you never did. I pushed you to be with Jeremiah. I thought he could make you happy unlike me. But I was wrong. You can't be happy with someone you don't love. Bells, _I_ love you."

She stepped closer to me. "Now what?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"What will happen if I stay here in Cousins? Do you expect me to forget about everything? Pretend life's the color of a rose and forgive you? I think you need to forgive yourself first."

"I uh—"

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah I heard you the first time—"

A blink of an eye and Belly's lips were connecting with mine. She kissed me long and hard. I kissed her back and the glory of it all was in the way she took control. I found myself contemplating whether to place my hands on her back or her waist. Meanwhile Belly was busy lifting my shirt up and over my head. She took off her shirt as well and when our skin made contact I shivered. I was the one to break away. Probably as she expected. She bent down to pick up her shirt and I stopped her.

"Lets go for a swim," I said, holding out a hand to her.


	10. The War Is Over

Chapter 10

_"The War Is Over"_

"This is for dumping me in the shower last night!"

Belly dunked my head under the water and tried to keep me down there. I submerged and twisted out of her grasp. "Hey, I was only trying to sober you up."

She smiled and flicked water at me. "I've missed this pool."

"Haven't you been staying here?"

"Yeah but I haven't been in the right um... mind to swim."

Meaning she'd been drinking all along. We were alike in so many ways I hadn't noticed before. I always thought we were polar opposites.

"Want to race?" she asked.

"I'll probably win."

"We'll see. Five laps. Ready? Go!" She swam forward and immediately changed into something else. I couldn't quite put my finger on the right word but she definitely stopped existing in this world as Isabel Conklin when she swam. I remembered we were supposed to be racing and attempted to catch up. A long time ago I might have made the effort to beat her but this time I didn't. She noticed because when it was over she frowned. "You didn't let me win, did you?"

"No way," I said.

"Do I get a reward for beating you then?"

I reached her in three long strokes and kissed her on the forehead.

xxx

"Great food," Belly said as she tore off a strip from a chicken breast.

I reached for the salad bowl. "I think I need to watch more Food Network to learn how to make other stuff besides grilled chicken."

"You should learn how to make pizza!"

"Let me rephrase that. I need to learn how to make other _healthy_ food."

"Pizza can be healthy! Hold back on the cheese and add extra tomato sauce. Easy."

Belly's hair was still dripping from being in the pool all afternoon. She was wrapped in the teddy bear towel my mom gave her many years ago. How was it that just weeks ago I'd been longing to be with her and now she sat before me and I had the luxury of kissing her whenever I felt like it? I only arrived the night before and it was as if time hadn't passed. Once again we were two teenagers in love. But I wasn't a teenager anymore and soon Belly wouldn't be either.

"Everything alright?" She reached for my hand and grasped it.

"I was just thinking about how many new freckles you have on your nose," I teased.

She swatted at me. "Jerk."

I caught her hand and kissed it. Her cheeks burned a crimson red. Definitely, time was still on my side if I still had that kind of effect on her.

We spent the rest of the evening playing cards and watching the Food Network. Belly seemed different now that I thought about it. She wasn't as reserved as before. If not, I doubt she would have ever kissed me like she did in the morning. Had everything that happened with Jeremiah changed her? Although this change was in my favor, I wasn't all too happy about it. Something just didn't feel right. Even so I wasn't going to allow my mind to obsess over the matter. With the end of summer approaching I wanted to spend every last minute of it with no one but Belly.

xxx

The next day we got up early to surf. Belly wasn't all too great at it but she stuck it out. Every time a wave knocked her down she never failed to emerge with a smile, ready to tackle more. Watching her in that determined state was distracting me from catching good waves.

I thought I knew everything about her. I thought I'd done a decent job of observing her over the years. As August went on, I found myself learning more and more things about her. I didn't know just how much she likes to play the memory game of summers past, bringing up the most random moments. I had no idea that she still wore her glasses when she reads at night. It even startled me when I found out that she set out to do well in school to prove to me that she could be smart too. I never thought she wasn't smart. On the contrary, I believed Belly to be a very bright girl. The fact that I was like a piece of inspiration to her really shook me up. In a good way that is.

Our days were flying by quickly. Belly and I made sure to never get bored. We'd always find something entertaining to do and no one came to the house to disturb us except for the occasional pizza boy or take-out guy. It was all innocent fun that I'd been longing for without ever acknowledging it.

xxx

It was the first week of September. We were in the middle of watching an _I Love Lucy_ Christmas special when Belly leaned her head against my shoulder.

"Conrad?"

"Yes?"

"Why haven't you asked me about Jeremiah?"

I tried to not show how I felt about that question. Honestly? I was more than curious to know but at the same time, I was afraid to hear it.

I shrugged. "I didn't think you'd want to talk about it."

"Oh," she said.

We sat there in silence for another five minutes when she spoke again.

"I was ready to forget about you. After you left. And then Jere came in, ready to get married. We argued and there was one thing he said that opened my eyes. He said that he wanted _all_ of me and not just a part. I realized then that he never really had me to begin with. The only reason I started dating him was to spite you. As cruel as that sounds, it's true. I wasn't marrying Jere because I love him, I was marrying him because I love you." She covered her mouth with one hand. "I'm insane, aren't I?"

I shook my head. "Not any more than I am." I gently moved her so that she was no longer leaning against me. We kissed, slowly easing into a passionate embrace. She laid back on the couch as I held myself over her. Just as I was about to lean down to kiss her neck, a familiar melody rang within the house.

"Did you order food?" I asked Belly.

"Nope."

"Neither did I." I sat up. "Should I answer the door?"

"Let's check who it is first."

We were probably thinking the same exact thing, _is it Jeremiah? _Though why would he ring the doorbell?

Belly turned off the TV and left the rec room. I followed close behind. She stopped at the door and looked into the peephole. Her intake of breath put me on edge. She stepped aside so I could take a look. A man in a uniform was patiently waiting out on the porch.

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><p><strong>Next chapter will be up soon~~~ <strong>


	11. You Can't Win

Chapter 11

_"You Can't Win"_

"Shit," I was saying without even thinking. We had nothing to hide so there was no reason to be nervous.

"Why is there a cop here?" she whispered.

I shrugged and hoped for the best as I opened the door slightly, leaving Belly out of view.

"Hello. Can I help you Officer?" I said calmly.

"Good evening. I'm Officer Reed." He presented his badge. "Are you Conrad Fisher?"

"Yes."

"And are you here alone?"

For a second I considered answering that with a yes but decided against it. "No. I'm here with my..." _Should I say it?_ "Girlfriend."

"May I come in?"

"Sure," I said.

Somehow Belly had snuck away into the kitchen by the time I moved back to allow Officer Reed entry. Immediately he began observing the summer house. If he was expecting to find alcohol of some sort he was out of luck because Belly and I made sure to empty every last bottle into the sink to rid temptation.

I led him into the kitchen where Belly was pretending to clean the counter tops. She stopped when we entered.

"This is Isabel Conklin," I gestured at Belly.

She smiled, probably because I called her by her actual name rather than to greet Reed. He introduced himself and asked if he could take a seat at the kitchen table when he was already pulling out a chair. "Sure, make yourself at home," I muttered under my breath. Belly glared at me. Reed seemed to not notice. He placed a rectangular piece of paper on the table.

"Do you recognize this girl Mr. Fisher?"

I froze for a moment. _Mr. Fisher_. That was new. And then it registered. That's not a piece of paper, it's a photograph of a girl. I took a closer look and my eyes widened. "Agnus."

Reed nodded. "May I ask how you know this girl?"

Keeping my eyes trained on the picture I mumbled, "Ex-girlfriend."

"When did you two date?"

I racked my brains. I didn't know the specific time because we dated off and on throughout the past school year._ Should I say that?_

"Months ago," I said instead.

I gave Belly a sideways glance. Her face was expressionless. I thought back to the time before the wedding when she asked me if I had a girlfriend in California. I'd said no which had been a white lie. She didn't even know I'd been with Agnus when I went back there in July.

"You were in California this past July. Correct?"

"Correct," I said.

"How long were you in California, Mr. Fisher?"

"About two weeks."

He jotted something down on a notebook I hadn't noticed before.

"What was your business there?"

Um. "I needed to get away from here. Personal reasons."

"While there, did you stay with Agnus?"

"Just for a couple of days until I was able to buy an apartment," I answered earnestly. I wondered what Belly was making out of this.

"In the time you spent with Agnus, did you notice anything different in her behavior?"

"No," I answered truthfully. What was all this about? "May I ask what all these questions are for."

Officer Reed put down his pen and nodded at the chair across from him. "You may want to take a seat for this."

My back tensed but I obeyed. Belly stayed in the same spot. Quiet and unblinking.

"Mr. Fisher, it was reported by the tenant of the apartment you purchased that Agnus was seen storming out of there hours before you vacated the place."

Reed was eyeing me suspiciously.

"We had a small disagreement. A while later she drove me to the airport and she was fine."

"Yes well, it's also been reported that you were the last person to be seen with her."

My heart beat sped up, I could feel it in my throat.

"What does that mean?" I knew what it meant but I couldn't resist asking.

"Agnus has gone missing."

xxx

After almost an hour of scrutiny, Officer Reed excused himself. I walked him to his car. Belly stayed inside.

"Was her apartment searched?" I asked.

He stopped walking. "Every inch. There was no evidence of her being there since the day she went missing. Mr. Fisher, you are aware that you're a prime suspect at the moment, right?"

I kept perfect eye contact with him. "I haven't heard from her since we said our goodbye at the airport. I have no idea where she is."

"I believe you," he said slowly. "Hopefully she'll appear soon before this gets out of hand. Her parents are worried."

"And so am I. If I hear anything..."

Reed handed me his card. "In case you need to reach me."

I waited for his car to disappear around the corner. _What am I going to do? _I went back inside. Belly was sitting on the foot of the stairs. I squatted down in front of her.

"Bells—"

"Why didn't you tell me about Agnus?"

"There isn't much to tell."

"What was all that stuff about you staying with her?"

"We didn't do anything if that's what you're thinking," I said. The look on her face showed she'd been thinking exactly that. "Why are you angry?"

"I'm not!" She started picking at her already short nails.

I sighed. "We dated this past school year. It didn't mean anything. She knew about you. Before spring term ended we decided to stay friends. When I was there recently I stayed at her place because I had nowhere else to go. Remember how I told you a friend helped me while I was out there? That was her."

Belly thought it over. "I guess I have no right to question you about her. I was still with Jere then..."

"And it meant nothing. Remember that."

She gave me a slight smile. I kissed her softly in hopes that she'd let the issue drop. "So you're not mad?"

"I have no reason to be. But I am worried. Why do you think she went missing?"

I knew she was going to ask that. "I honestly have no idea. Could be anything really."

"Could it be because you left?"

She was giving me a knowing look. As if I somehow did something to provoke Agnus' disappearance.

"Could we not talk about this now?" I rose and headed for the rec room. Belly didn't follow me like I thought she would.

"Conrad, how did Officer Reed know to find you here?" That was a good question. I'd been wondering the same thing. No one expect Belly knew I was in Cousins; not even Laurel. "Does Agnus know about this place?"

"I might have mentioned it in passing. Why?"

She was now standing in front of me. Her eyes were shifty. As if she thought Agnus could be hiding somewhere in the house. "Oh nothing. It's all just really weird..."

"I know what you're thinking but it can't be. Agnus wouldn't fake her own disappearance. That doesn't even make sense."

Belly was opening her mouth to argue when the lights went out. We were left in total darkness.


	12. Dark Side

**I honestly meant to update this sooner, sorry. **

**LOL you guys, I barely noticed that in my earlier chapters I would spell Conrad's ex's name as ~Agnes~ (which is the way it's spelled in the book) but as of late I've been spelling it with a U. Woops. Pretend I didn't do that... Oh and one last thing! Thank you so much for your positive feedback! ****-sobs- **

* * *

><p>Chapter 12<p>

_"Dark Side"_

My eyes were trying to adjust to the darkness when Belly moved closer to me. "What was that?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"Maybe it's Agnes," I said, jokingly. "She's infiltrated the house, run!" I broke into a fit of laughter by the sight of her worried face.

She swatted at me. "It's not funny!"

After regaining composure, I blinked several times until my eyes were back in focus. I tried remembering where Mom used to keep the emergency flashlights. They definitely weren't in the hallway closet because the only things in there were beach-y stuff.

"What do you think happened to the lights?"

"Probably a power outage. It used to happen all the time. You know that."

"Conrad, that only happens during storms and—"

"Relax." I rubbed her arm. "You're such a baby."

She pushed my hand away. "You're not funny."

"But your reaction was. Hey do you know where the flashlights are?"

"I don't remember..." I left her standing in the middle of the foyer. "Where are you going?"

"Gonna check the kitchen," I said over my shoulder.

Belly followed me into the other room. She stopped in her tracks suddenly. "What?" Her eyes were trained on something ahead of us. I followed her gaze over to the counter she'd pretended to clean earlier. Laurel was leaning against it with a flashlight in hand.

"Beck kept the flashlights in this drawer over here," she said, pointing beside her.

I walked to her in a daze. I hugged her tightly and she returned the same affection.

"Mom? You scared the shit out of me."

"Watch your language Belly," Laurel said sharply. She turned to me. "When you called, you were at the airport."

"Yes and I meant to call you as soon as I landed but—"

"What are you doing here?" Belly interrupted.

"I should be asking you the same thing, Isabel."

I sucked in a breath. She only referred to her as Isabel when she was angry.

"Listen Laurel—" I tired but was interrupted again. By Laurel this time.

"What's going on here?"

"I needed some time alone..." Belly explained in a small voice.

"Yes and I see how well this _alone_ time must be working out for you. Have you even thought about how Jeremiah would feel if he found out about this?"

Belly and I both shook our heads. Shamefully. In fact, we barely ever mentioned his name. I was a lousy brother.

The old owner of the seafood restaurant I used to work for, Ernie, once told me that "if a girl's the one, all bets are off, family or no family." Jere wouldn't see it that way. Crap.

"It's all just innocent fun, Mom. It's nothing."

It felt like I took a blow to the stomach or lemon juice to a wound. Nothing? Is that what Belly thought this was? I headed for the sliding door.

"Conrad?"

"Let him go. I need to talk to you _alone_." Laurel's tone was flat, emotionless.

I sat on a deck chair. I tried to ignore them but Belly's words started repeating in my head like a broken record. Did she say it to calm Laurel down? Or did she say it because she meant it?

Who was I kidding? The past few weeks had been amazing but what now? Belly was supposed to be starting her second year of college in less than a week and I my final year at Stanford. I would love nothing more than to take Belly with me to California. But what about her schooling? She couldn't just leave Finch University. Anyway, it was too late for her to apply at a different school and it would be selfish of me, anyway. I bet Belly was thinking the same thing all along. That whatever this is, it's only temporary. I'd been naive to think it would be simpler than that. That this was final. So no, I wasn't upset with Belly for what she said. I was upset about the way reality hit me smack in the face.

After a while Laurel plopped down on a deck chair beside mine. I wondered where Belly was but didn't ask.

"Did you know she was staying here?"

"No. I found her here; a big mess. I didn't have the heart to leave her again."

"While I understand that..." She hesitated for the slightest moment. "Belly needs to continue school and so do you." _I knew those words were coming. _"If you really love her, you'll go back to California and finish up. Do you still want to be a doctor?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what you're going to do about med school?"

"Not yet. I'm not even sure if I want to stay in the west coast after I graduate next year."

She nodded. "Well, take my advice kid and do the right thing."

"I would. You know I would." My hands were shaking when I said, "Now that we've reconnected I don't think I can leave again. I want to be with her now, not later."

She reached out to pat my arm. A big gesture coming from her. "No disrespect to your brother but I always knew you belong with her."

I finally turned to face her. She looked tired. "I want to marry her," I said with confidence.

The shock seemed to pass over her quickly. "Not now."

I couldn't help the smile forming at the corners of my mouth. "After we finish school."

"A lot after." Laurel smiled for the first time since she arrived. "I can't really tell you what to do, kid. All I can say is that if Beck were here, I know she would agree with me."

"I had a dream about her recently," I said abruptly. Her smile faltered. "We were here in Cousins. She told me to go home to _her_. So I did. Now that I think about it, it was like she knew that I would run into Belly here."

"Maybe she did know," she said clearing her throat. "Just do what feels right for you and for our girl. Okay?"

We hugged for a long time. She needed it; we both needed it. She shook in my arms and I figured she was crying. I pulled away first. "I've never seen you cry before."

"Consider it a one-time thing." She ruffled my hair.

There was no one like Laurel Fisher. She had the right amount of toughness and the biggest heart. I felt better after talking to her. Always did.

"I'm going to Beck's memorial garden," she said, standing up.

"I can go with you," I offered.

She waved me off. "Stay here and figure things out. You can come with me next time."

Laurel was gone without another word. I grabbed the flashlight she left me and went back inside the house. I assumed Belly was probably up in her room. First I stopped to test out the light switch in the kitchen and nothing. The power was still out. I continued on up, thinking about what to say to her. I wasn't ready for another goodbye. On the topmost step I almost slipped in what seemed to be water. I pointed the flashlight down and gasped. There was a very small puddle of blood.

"Belly?" I called out. No answer. I waved the flashlight around. My heart started beating faster. The hall walls had bloody hand prints splattered along, leading to Belly's room. I ran to her door and tried opening it but it wouldn't budge. "Bells!" I yelled this time, slamming my fists on the door. I heard the slightest creak of floorboards from within. I rammed the door as hard as I could and succeeded, knocking it down with a crash. With the aid of the flashlight I could make out the struggle in the room. Her bed spread was tangled up, random items were on the floor—some broken—and more blood scattered around. Obviously a fight was put up. Something like this would have reached my ears. But why hadn't I heard anything? I was opening her closet when something hard hit me on the back of the head. I remember slumping down to the floor and barely catching a glimpse of Belly's immobile body within the closet. I blanked out.


	13. Impossible

**Sorry for the wait! Dx ****School has been stealing away my thinking process but I got it back... I hope. ;)**

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

_"Impossible"_

I woke up in a trance. The world around me spun and I found myself squeezing my eyes shut, waiting for it to stop.

_Did I pass out drunk? _

No.

Other scenarios came to mind until I got sick of guessing and opened my eyes to a crack. That was futile. All I could see was endless darkness. At least I knew I was in an unrecognizable room and not some creepy alley. Not that this place wasn't creepy either. In fact, if it hadn't been for the wetness surrounding my head distracting me, the place would have concerned me. I dipped my fingers into the puddle beneath me and sniffed them. The coppery smell of blood made me sneeze. _What the hell?_

Attempting to sit up was a wasted effort which only exerted me. The back of my head throbbed wildly. I heaved a sigh of pain as I turned to my side and reached back there. In that moment it all came back to me with a burst of realization. The bloody handprints along the hallway leading to Belly's room; the mess I discovered after knocking down the door; and the worst part, the glimpse I had of the body inside the closet. _Her_ _body_. And that's when my memory fades. Someone knocked me out cold. That was the only plausible explanation to why my head was fucked up, I decided.

I surveyed the rest of my body, checking for the overall damage. I was left mostly untouched except for the head wound.

I scrambled onto my knees, pushing the wrecked ache aside. As I heaved myself up off the floor, my knees threatened to give out.

"Are you here?" I called out weakly. I heard her signature sob. "Belly?" At first it was almost inaudible but as I moved to the right it grew louder. "Belly!"

In the darkness I could just make out her figure. She was slumped against a wall. I ran and stopped myself from throwing my arms around her. I wasn't sure how badly hurt she was.

"Bells! Are you okay?"

"I don't know," she croaked.

"I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'll take you to the hospital!" I felt around the pockets of my shorts for my phone but then I remembered I left it on the deck.

"You can't." Her voice was oddly raspy.

"It's okay. I can carry you out of here."

"But—"

"Put your arms around my neck."

"Conrad, please listen." She never sounded more fragile. I froze. "Do you remember how we got here?"

"No..." _How could I?_ I was knocked out until a few minutes ago.

"Neither do I. All I know is that we're being held captive."

"What do you mean?"

"I woke up hours ago. When the sun was out. I could barely see through the small window over there." She pointed over my shoulder but I couldn't see a window. "You were lying beside me. I—I thought you were d—dead."

I thought she'd been dead too but I kept that to myself. I searched for her hands. She laced her fingers around mine and leaned her head against my chest. I let her cry for a while. When I couldn't take it anymore I said, "Feel my heart beat? I'm right here." I kissed the top of her head. "Where are you hurt?"

"Just my neck and legs, oh and I think my left shoulder is dislocated. You?"

I winced.

"The back of my head feels like it might fall off."

We laughed drily. Maybe it was our nerves. I was living in confusion, not sure whether I was relieved she was alive or angry she was hurt. "Do you know who did this?"

"In the morning I heard shouts and thought that someone found us but then I realized it was our own attackers. One of them appeared at the door." This time she motioned at the opposite wall from the window. "It was a girl. She appeared to be around our age. I couldn't see her face though. I pretended to be asleep, barely watching through my eyelashes as she examined your body."

"She did what?"

"She looked you over, I'm guessing to check where you were hurt. She pretended I wasn't there and whispered something."

"What did she say?"

She skipped over my question. "I think she knows you."

"Fuck. What happened after that?"

"She left and locked the door behind her. I tried crawling over there until the pain in my shoulder stopped me. I've been in this spot ever since."

I was going to get us out of there. I had to. "Stay here."

I stood up slowly and felt along the wall until I reached the door. It was metallic. I examined it the best I could. There was no doorknob, no window, only a key hole. "Do you have a bobby pin by any chance?"

"Nope."

"What else could I use to unlock this? We need to get out of here fast."

"I don't think we can."

"We have to!"

"Come back over here, please."

I didn't hesitate this time. I carefully wrapped my arms around her waist and held her close.

"They're going to kill me, Conrad."

"Don't say that." I tightened my hold on her. This whole situation was absurd. _What had we done to deserve this?_

"That's what she whispered when you were unconscious."

I couldn't speak. My heart was hammering louder than my thoughts.

"You had just woken up. You probably didn't hear her right."

"I know what I heard."

The muscles in my jaw tightened. "I won't let her or anybody else touch you."

"Shhh..." She placed a finger on my lips. "I think they're back."

I listened hard until the rev of a car engine reached my ears. It was followed by two door slams.

"We need a plan!"

"There's nothing we can do, Con, it's over."

I didn't want to accept that. I thought hard. Maybe I could wait by the door and attack them if they were to come inside._ Yes, that could work._

"I need you to lay down and stay still. Pretend to be asleep."

"What are you going to do?" she asked worriedly.

"Attack whoever comes in first," I answered quickly because I could faintly hear their footsteps.

"That might not work—"

"I have to try. For you..."

I tipped Belly's chin up and kissed her cold lips. At first softly and then harder because I wasn't sure how many more times I would get to do that. I felt something inside me light up. I wanted more but it couldn't happen like that. I forced myself to pull away. We were out of breath. The silence that passed through us in that moment held everything we were both thinking, desiring.

I reluctantly went back to the door and pressed one ear against it while covering the other. They were talking somewhere else in the building. Building? House? Whatever.

They started arguing.

"Why haven't you fed them?" A female's voice rang through the walls. _That voice_. It sounded oddly familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"What the hell for? They're good as dead." I recognized the guy's voice right away. But it couldn't be...

"Idiot! I told you to give them a good scare. That's all! You weren't supposed to knock them out! I swear if he dies—"

"Don't threaten me!"

"I'll deal with you later then. Go check on them... Now!"

My heart was beating roughly against my rib cage. I clawed at the spot, afraid my heart was going to burst right through my chest. Betrayal is a human's nightmare and at this moment, it was my reality. I steadied myself on one side of the door and angled an elbow toward it. His footsteps grew louder. He was alone from what I could tell.

He was cursing under his breath as he unlocked the door. Before he could step inside I elbowed him hard in the stomach and covered his mouth to muffle his cry of pain. I pulled him inside the room and left the door open just a crack so that I could make sure I wasn't mistaken. The light from the hallway lit up Clay Bertolet's face. His eyes widened. He was surprised I was alive. _Good_.

Clay tried getting out of my hold but I pushed him hard against the wall. My hand still covered his mouth and the other twisted his arms behind his back. I'd learned well from wrestling with Jeremiah.

I studied him, trying to recognize the guy I thought was my friend. We'd been neighbors in Cousins every summer for over ten years. He always threw those crazy bonfires on the night of Fourth of July and I never missed out. Sure we weren't close but we were far from being enemies.

"What are you doing, Clay?" I whispered.

He shrugged and I quit covering his mouth so he could speak.

"She threatened to narc me out."

"Who?"

"Look man, sorry I hit you with a lamp. You weren't supposed to be upstairs."

I let go of his wrists and shook him by the shoulders hard. "Who is making you do this?"

"She has proof that I've been selling drugs and I can't go to prison—"

"Clay! Who are you working for?"

"This chick that claims to be your girlfriend, Agnes."


	14. Save You

Chapter 14

_"Save You"_

Agnes was behind this.

I released Clay, my arms falling to my sides. If I found his betrayal somewhat brutal, Agnes' felt worse.

I'm at a loss for words. I recognized her voice right away. Deep down I knew it was her but I had to hear it from Clay for the truth to sink in.

Belly was right to be freaked out when the lights in the house went out. That must have been part of the plan all along. Laurel's visit just helped the cause.

Clay said, "I had no choice bro. I swear."

He thinks I'm upset over him working for Agnes. Of course I am but the real issue is that my mind can't seem to find a reason for any of this happening. What motives did Agnes have?

"She's going to wonder why I'm taking so long over here," Clay added with urgency.

"You have to help us. Belly needs to see a doctor."

"I'm sorry about her too—"

"Help us."

"How can I? My hands are tied."

The last thing I wanted was for Clay to get in trouble with the law. My first priority, however, was to get Belly checked out. I would never forgive myself if I didn't. Mom's memory would be tarnished; her love for Belly was greater than anyone else's. I pushed aside my inner ramblings and clutched the collar of Clay's shirt.

"Tell her we're still knocked out. Distract her."

He didn't struggle against my hold. That's how I decided to trust him.

"What will you do meanwhile?"

"Give me your car keys."

"She'll know I helped you."

"Does she have evidence that can really narc you out?"

"I'm not sure."

"You do realize that she could be bluffing, right?"

"Clay?" Agnes' voice came from a distance. She sounded annoyed. "Why are you taking so long?"

"It's freakin' dark in here!"

"Use your phone, idiot!"

With the little light that was entering from the hallway I could just make out Clay's eyes rolling in their sockets. "Oh, right!" Clay called back. Then he brought his voice back down to a whisper, "I can't believe you're dating her."

"I don't know what she told you but it's been over for a while."

"No wonder she's angry."

"Are you going to help us or not?" I pushed him slightly because there was no knowing with Clay. A moment ago I felt I could trust him. Now I wasn't so sure. He still hadn't given me his car keys.

He went still, probably weighing his options. It angered me that he even had to think about it. I was just about to give up and beat the shit out of him when he reached down into his pocket and dangled his keys in front of me. "I didn't give these to you. I dropped them somewhere in the building. When I came in here you slipped past me because it was so dark. You had enough time to figure out your surroundings, wait for me to leave the room, get Belly out, find my keys and drive away."

"Deal," I said quickly. I was stunned he'd thought up that elaborate story. Clay wasn't the brightest guy I knew. I grabbed his keys and stuffed them in my pocket as he left the room, leaving the door open at a crack again.

I returned to Belly and lifted her into my arms slowly. She groaned from the pain. "It'll be alright," I said softly.

There was no time to waste so without hesitating I pushed the door open with my foot and checked the hallway. It was empty. Other metal doors lined dark gray walls. No windows in sight.

Clay had gone to the right so I went the opposite way. I stopped at every door eagerly hoping for one to open. All of them were keyed in. At the end of the hallway I could only turn left. I walked fast. With Belly in my arms I wasn't as fast as I wish I were but I kept on going, ignoring my growing headache.

"Do you know where you're going?" Belly said in my ear.

The sensation startled me. "No," I whispered.

We traveled down that hallway until the walls started changing color. The further we went the lighter the walls looked. Was that a good sign or was I just looking too far into it? We reached a flight of stairs that spiraled down into the ground. I wasn't sure if we were supposed to go down or not. I looked at Belly for help and she shook her head slowly. Clueless as I was, I peered down the stairs. The light was on down there. I spotted rows and rows of shelves cluttered with hundreds of boxes. We were in some warehouse apparently. My better judgment told me not to venture down those stairs so I continued down the same path.

Belly's sudden intake of breath stopped me. I was about to ask her what that was for when I spotted the large window she was gaping at. We approached it and stared through. We were definitely on the right level. I spotted Clay's familiar 1997 Mustang parked at an angle across the lot. I smiled at the girl in my arms. We were almost out.

Shouts reached our ears as we looked at each other with horror. Either Agnes was growing fond of yelling at Clay or she found out we were in the midst of escaping. I looked around for an exit. None was forthcoming. All we had was the window in front of us. I placed Belly down a few feet away. I'd never broken a window before. Would a kick be good enough? Adrenaline shot through me as I kicked the glass hard. The action created a large crack. I went for another kick just as quick footsteps broke out. This time the glass gave in and shattered.

"Conrad!"

I spun around just as Agnes took hold of Belly's neck.


	15. What Doesn't Kill You

Chapter 15

"_What Doesn't Kill You"_

"Hurt her and I swear to—"

"You swear to what, Conrad?" Agnes challenged with a mocking bitterness. _If looks could kill_…

"Why are you doing this?" I inched toward her. It went unobserved.

She looked down at Belly who was feebly trying to get out of her grasp. "So this is the girl you went on and on about in Cali?"

"He did?" Belly asked. She looked at me strangely. As if it was hard to believe that I'd talked about her with anyone else.

"One night he got so drunk he kept trying to kiss me. He thought I was you!" Agnes raised her voice. "I was being a good friend, you know?" she continued. "I stopped him from doing something stupid that night. I gave him advice. I told him to come back for you."

Belly's eyes glazed over. I took another small step forward.

"And then he finally listened. After he kicked me out of his apartment, he called asking for a ride to the airport. Pretended like he hadn't been a dick before."

I recoiled. It sounded much worse hearing it aloud. At the time I was only thinking about my own happiness. I didn't take Agnes' feelings into account. I concluded that as the reason for her bizarre change. The things jealousy can cause. The Agnes I'd grown fond of at one point was nothing like this. She was naturally a nice girl, a smart one.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," I said sincerely. Another step closer.

She gave an impoverished laugh. "You did nonetheless."

"What are you trying to gain from this?" Belly spoke up. Her voice was raspier than it had been earlier.

Agnes tightened her hands that clutched her throat. Tears slipped from Belly's eyes. "I love him. It hurts knowing he doesn't feel the same way. It hurts that he prefers you."

"So you plan to get him back by killing me? There's a flaw in your plan."

I was about to tell Belly to shut up, to stop provoking her, when Clay signaled at me from the end of the hallway. His nose was bloody. Agnes' doing most likely. Clay pointed at the broken window abaft me. I didn't dare turn away from the girls just to look out the window.

"Conrad would never forgive you. How stupid can you be?"

Agnes glared into the eyes of the girl at her mercy. I advanced two steps closer. Clay approached them as well. Again he pointed at the window and then at Agnes. I shook my head. Agnes was too occupied with Belly to notice our exchange. She didn't even sense that someone was behind her. He was foolish if he was going to try to push her out the window. We were at level with the ground outside anyway. What purpose would it serve?

"Maybe Connie will just have to forgive me." Agnes said with a twisted smile. _Who was this insane girl?_ I surely didn't know her.

Clay made a different signal this time. His plan clicked in my head. He ticked off three fingers. Immediately after the third one I sprang forward just as he grabbed Agnes in a headlock. I caught Belly whom was released harshly. I carried her out the window, careful to not get us cut by lingering shards of glass. Agnes was screaming obscurities as Clay held on to her. I ran to his Mustang, lowered Belly into the passenger seat and scrambled for the driver's side. I was struggling with the car keys in my pocket when I noticed that the screams died down. I glanced over at them. Clay still had her in a headlock. Agnes was looking straight at me as she pulled something out of her pocket.

"Clay! Watch out!" I screamed loudly to warn him. It was too late. Within seconds a knife was being thrust into his chest. His shriek of agony woke something inside me. _Rage_. I jumped out of the car and sprinted back to the warehouse.

In the seconds it took me to get there, Agnes had already yanked the knife out of Clay's chest. A pool of blood surrounded his stiff form. _Run_, he mouthed at me.

I wasn't going to be the Conrad that ran away when things got bad this time.

"Agnes, give me the knife." I held my hand out to her.

Head shaking, she looked at the boy on the floor. "Look what you made me do!"

"You're right, it's my fault. Now give me the knife before something else happens."

"As soon as I hand this over you're going to leave with her," she said angrily.

"I won't. I'll stay with you."

"Really?" Her eyes lit up.

I nodded. "Just give me the knife."

Agnes looked down at the knife and then at my hand. She dropped it on the floor and kicked it away from herself. "Come back to California with me, Conrad. I know we can be happy together."

"First let me take Clay to the hospital." I crouched down and wondered how I was going to get him up without further injuring him.

"You said you'd stay with me!"

I looked up at her. "I will. Just after we get him some help."

"Liar!" She eyed the knife between us. I made to grab it but she was quicker. It was in her hand again. This time she wore a determined face. It vanished when the wail of sirens caught our attention.

"You called the cops?"

"No."

_Belly must have. _

Agnes had the same thought because she cursed under her breath and I barely made out the words "should have killed her." She ran for the window but I cut her off. I steered clear of the knife in her hand. She swung it at me until we both fell to the floor. More blood. Confusion hit me as the sirens grew louder.


	16. Already Gone

**Just so y'all won't get confused, this chapter is in present tense instead of past tense like the other chapters because Conrad's narrative of past events is over. It's now up-to-date in the sense of this story. Hope that makes sense... :D Oh and storylover, you're welcome :p haha xo**

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><p>Chapter 16<p>

_"Already Gone"_

My mind combats a haze of medication subsequently to Belly's voice. The pitch is low and hoarse. I reach out for her and strain to hear the conversation she's having with someone just outside the room.

"He's been out for three days, I hope he'll wake up soon," she says, tone laced with concern.

_Three days_?

"You're sure Clay Bertolet did this to him?" Jeremiah's voice registers in my head. He's upset. "Why would he, Bells? He was our friend."

"He had no choice._ She_ threatened him."

"With what?"

There is silence on Belly's part. It takes an instant for it to make sense. Maybe she doesn't want my brother to know that Clay was selling drugs. I don't either. "In the end he tried helping us escape…"

"And that turned out well for him."

The image of Agnes stabbing Clay in the chest creeps up on me. Its menacing purpose causes my body to tremble.

"There was something mentally wrong with that girl."

"I can't believe she tried to kill you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I've been better." I open my eyes. Jeremiah's tall frame is bending down, embracing her awkwardly. She's sitting in a wheel chair with a leg in a cast and an arm in a shoulder sling. _My fault_... I scramble to maintain even breaths. The ECG monitoring my heart beeps rapidly. They look my way. Jere straightens up and wheels her over to one side of my hospital bed. She rubs my arm for comfort. The beeping flattens into a steady rhythm. "Welcome back."

"Hey," I hear myself respond weakly.

"Glad you're alright bro." Jeremiah holds up a fist and waits for me to pound it. Gratefully I do so because I didn't expect him to talk to me ever again. I guess ending up in a hospital is the exception.

A young nurse appears in the doorway having been notified of my unsteadiness by the ECG. I tell her I'm fine now. She doesn't leave. I catch her eyeballing Jeremiah with a look of entrancement. Belly waves her off. That strikes me odd but I disregard it. The nurse shoots her a dirty look before exiting.

"How's Clay?"

They exchange a gaze I perceive as part of their supposed ESP connection they claim to have since our childhood. There's something they're not telling me. I don't get the chance to probe them because the doctor comes in to check up on me. He says that I'll most likely continue getting headaches and feeling nauseous for the next few weeks. _Fantastic_.

Afterward, Belly tries to speak but she can't get it out without her voice cracking. I assume it's because of the pressure that Agnes applied to her throat. Jere speaks up for her. "When Agnes stabbed Clay, she struck a vital artery. By the time the ambulance arrived at the warehouse... he couldn't be saved." He lets his head drop. Belly covers her mouth and sobs.

_I begged Clay to help us. _It's becoming increasingly difficult to look at them.

"That's not all," Laurel says from the doorway. Steven is beside her, his face as grave as everyone else's. His mother crosses the room. "Honey, Agnes didn't make it either."

I stare at her, at them.

"Belly saw you wrestling with her. She was trying to stab you. When you both stumbled to the ground, she landed on the knife. It was an accident."

I don't speak. Not for the rest of the day.

xxx

On my fourth day at the hospital, my dad visits. He keeps it brief.

"When Belly called I thought I'd lost you," Adam Fisher admits earnestly.

"I'm sorry, Dad. About _everything_," I choke out.

"I'm just relieved you're okay, son."

We watch the New York Giants and New England Patriots play it out just like old times.

xxx

Later in the night Belly sits by my bed. I think she plans on spending the night in the hospital with me. She's awfully chatty. I'm only half-listening.

"…luckily Clay's cell phone was in the glove department of his car... I dialed _911 _right away... I was so scared…"

She babbles on about _that day_. I decide I don't want to hear about it anymore. Picking up on my mood she pleads for an explantion. I train my eyes on the pale ceiling. "You can't keep avoiding it, Con."

"It'd be easier if you'd stop bringing it up."

A headache commences at the back of my head. I turn to the side to ease the pain and find myself facing Belly. She has a few small scratches on her throat, two on her face.

"I know you want to forget about what happened. I also know that you're trying to push me away. I'm not going to let you... Just _talk_ to me."

Her insistency rattles me. I go for a different approach. The one that frightens me. "Remember all of the fun we had just a couple of weeks ago? Two years ago?"

"Of course I do. But don't try to change the—"

"When you're with me you get hurt no matter how hard I try to make you happy."

"None of this was your fault!"

I set a finger on her lips. Their warmth beckons me to kiss them. "Who are we trying to fool?"

She pushes my finger away. "You're on meds. You don't know what you're saying."

"There's someone out there that'll be able to make you happy regardless of the circumstances. You just gotta search."

"Conrad—"

"I don't know how to be happy with myself. I'm unstable." Tears roll down her cheeks. I wipe them away gingerly. "I'm always making you cry. Don't you see how wrong that is? It can account for emotional abuse." I've left her speechless because I'm right. "You're in love with the boy I used to be. That boy is long gone so stop trying to bring him back from the dead." My hands quiver. _Wrong choice of words_.

Belly takes my unsteady hands and settles them over my heart. "He's in there... You're doing this because of something you had no control over. It's Susannah's passing all over again. No one blames you for anything._ I_ don't blame you for anything. I love you."

Those last three words hang in the air between us. We lock eyes for the longest. A knock at the door disrupts the moment. It's Jere. He observes our joined hands. "The doc says you're allowed to go home tomorrow morning."

"Awesome," I say. "Make sure she gets home safe."

Belly frowns. "I'm staying the night."

"No, you're not."

"We're not done here."

I turn away because she's right about everything she just said. I can't take back the things I said though. I meant them and she knows it. When I don't turn back around, Belly seems to give up and allows Jere to wheel her out of the room. Not a lot of time passes until there's a second sharp knock. _I thought they were gone_.

"Excuse me Mr. Fisher, remember me?"

I sit up. Officer Reed enters hesitantly. He'd come by the summer house to tell me that Agnes had gone missing.

"I just heard. I'm terribly sorry for both losses."

I nod stiffly.

"I gave you my card the last time we met. You said you'd contact me if she were to appear."

"Yeah, well, I didn't exactly have time to call you when I was getting hit by a lamp, being abducted, and getting two concussions. Did I mention I had to work out a breakout strategy that just seemed to make matters worse?"

"I read the police report. The only witness available was your girlfriend, Isabel Conklin."

_Girlfriend_... _ha?_

"Mr. Fisher, could you give me a detailed report of what happened that day?"

"Isn't Isabel's enough?"

"We need yours as well."

I take a deep breath and recount what I can remember which is almost everything up until the part when I wrestled Agnes for the knife. That's where my memory is shaky. Officer Reed quietly takes notes. When I'm done I squeeze my eyes shut. My headache from earlier seems to have amplified.

"As you know, I was given the case of finding Agnes. I went through all of her medical files and came across something that explains her most recent and last form of behavior."

I raise an eyebrow. "It was jealousy that overtook her."

"Son, it is more than that. The girl had Psychotic Disorder NOS which stands for Not Otherwise Specified. Her parents confirmed it and claim she'd been off her medication in the last six months because her doctor noticed progress."

I don't need for Reed to explain to me what Psychotic Disorder does to a person. I took two semesters of psychology at Brown University before transferring to Stanford. I know enough to understand that Agnes was in the midst of a mood episode that overlapped with a delusional disturbance. She'd been fine being off the medicine until I aggravated her. I set her off like a ticking time bomb. For the rest of my life, everyone would be telling me it wasn't my fault but in a way, it was. That would always haunt me. _How am I supposed to make Belly happy_?


	17. Standing In Front Of You

**We're at the end, yay! This story was fun to write. Thanks for reading!**

**I love Jenny Han for writing The Summer I Turned Pretty trilogy. Whenever I'm having an off day I turn to these books and read my favorite parts. :)**

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><p>Chapter 17<p>

_"Standing In Front Of You"_

We're heading home the next morning. I'm actually looking forward to my return to Boston. Being in the hospital was too depressing. The minimal sound on the way is pleasant. I lean my seat back to take a nap. Jeremiah startles me awake by turning up the volume on the radio. I sit up with a groan. He knows very well how much I dislike Britney Spears. "You were pretty harsh on Belly last night," he points out after lowering the volume. I glance at my brother through heavy lids. I don't think he's slept much lately. Maybe I should drive. I scoff at the mental idea given my current condition. "She told me everything."

That doesn't surprise me. "Of course she told her BFF."

Jeremiah speeds up at the sound of my sarcasm, I suppose. "You're a moron. You finally got her back and after the lengths you went through at the warehouse... Is this the same old Conrad only caring about himself when things go wrong? Jumping ship without offering anyone else a hand? Save yourself and screw everyone else, right?"

I hold back the impulse to punch him. After all, he's driving and I'm not particularly fond of car crashes. "My intent is not to be selfish. Trust me when I say I'm doing this _for_ her," I explain.

Without signaling he pulls over on the busy highway. Several cars honk at us.

"What about all that stuff you told me, about never being able to forget her; you're just going to give up again?"

"It's not like that," I say with an exasperated sigh. "Look, I don't expect you to comprehend."

"I think I comprehend better than you think."

We inhabit an awkward muteness until I break it. "Jere, I can't face Belly and pretend the thing with A-Agnes wasn't my f-f-fault." I swallow the lump in my throat.

"She doesn't expect you to pretend and she doesn't blame you. You didn't know about Agnes' psychotic disorder. It's not like you set her off on purpose."

"Why are you doing this?" I ask him. He looks at me questioningly. "I thought you hated me for coming between you two. Why are you acting as our wing-man now?"

He considers this momentarily. "Actually, _I_ was the one who came between you two. I started this thing with Belly knowing just how much you still cared about each other. You just needed some time to grow up and I disrupted it when I kissed her that night at Brown. I had no right." Jeremiah has never said anything like this before. I have nothing to say. He takes my silence as a sign that I'm still considering letting Belly go. "Screw up your life then. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I need air. I get out of his car and walk on the edge of the road. Jeremiah starts the car up again and catches up to me. He drives slowly along and calls out, "You're not seriously planning on walking the rest of the way home, are you? A handsome fellow like you might attract a lonely trucker's attention!"

I ignore him.

"Haven't you seen the movie _Joy Ride_? Truckers have feelings too!"

I suppress a chuckle.

"Look, if you're hoping for a workout, don't even bother. The doctor said you can only perform minimal activity. Walking on a highway doesn't cut it, bro."

"Just go, Jere, I'll be fine."

"Get in the damn car, Conrad!"

Waving my arms around I say, "Let me enjoy this last bit of summer air. Fall is starting in a few days."

"If you get run over or something, don't expect me to weep for you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Traffic piles up behind him. Cars simultaneously honk at him. He gives up on me and speeds away but not before shooting me the finger.

xxx

Only half an hour has passed since I started walking and my head is already pounding. I consider calling Jeremiah. As I scroll through the contact list in my phone, a driver yells, "Come around here often?"

Without turning I flip him off.

"It's nice to see you too, Conrad!" The car whizzes by and pulls over a couple of yards ahead of me. I squint, unable to recognize the driver. Until I catch a glimpse of his eyes—those similar to Belly's—from the rearview mirror, I realize its Steven.

I peer in through the open window on the passenger side. "Steve-o!"

"Dude, you hitchhike now? I guess your head really is messed up."

"Can't a guy get some exercise once in a while?"

"Not unless you want a truck driver up your ass."

I scowl. "Are you sure you don't share that ESP shit with Jeremiah, too?"

"Great minds think alike," Steven smirks. "Get in!"

We pick up a large pepperoni pizza and rent _Scarface._Jeremiah isn't home when we arrive so we go ahead and watch Al Pacino deliver one of his best performances without him. By the time Tony Montana says the famous, "_Say hello to my little friend_" line, I can no longer hold in the question that's been on my mind.

Steven straightens up when I ask how his sister is doing. "Are you sure you want to know?" His tone is unmistakably defensive. "Last time I checked you were busy hurting her yet again."

"What the hell, Steve?" I take a large bite of my fourth slice of pizza.

"You don't know what it's been like. Watching my little sister fawn over you summer after summer. You finally giving her the time of day and then dropping her just like that. The second time around and_ shocker_, you did the same."

"You know damn well why I did it the first time."

"What about the second time?"

I take another bite of my pizza.

"She's been packing," he says abruptly.

I choke. "For what?"

"Spain… And judging by the look on your face I presume she didn't tell you."

I take a swig of water. This is definitely news to me.

"She applied for a study abroad program last minute. The acceptance letter arrived the day my mom gave y'all a visit in Cousins. They were already full but someone cancelled and Belly was next on the list. Mom thinks it's a great opportunity for her."

I don't finish the rest of my food.

xxx

Although I shouldn't be driving, I do it anyways. I waited for Steven to head out. He was going to his girlfriend, Claire Cho's house. Jeremiah still wasn't back from wherever he was and I wasn't willing to wait for him.

I'm heading to the Conklin's house. It's past ten when I arrive. I make it to their doorstep and at that instant I hear voices inside. Belly has company. Before I can decide what to do, maybe hide behind a bush or a tree, the front door opens and a surprised blonde looks at me silently. She closes the door behind her.

Ushering me off the porch and down to the sidewalk, Taylor keeps hold of my shoulder. I recall her doing the same thing the last time we saw each other.

In a low voice she asks, "What do you want?"

"I didn't come here to talk to you."

She sighs. "Do you really need me to remind you that anything having to do with Belly is important to me?"

It's none of your business, I want to say. But I know well enough that she'll use the "Belly and I have been best friends forever" card. I can see the words forming at the back of her throat.

"Steven told me about Spain."

Her face falls. "Do you think she should go?"

The question startles me. I don't even have an answer for it. The only thing I thought about on the drive over was the fact that Belly hadn't told me about this study abroad program. It all makes sense though. That's why Laurel went to Cousins that day. That's why she wanted to talk to Belly alone.

"She's traumatized, Conrad. So what do you think she should do?"

"I need to see her."

"I don't think that's a good idea right now. Come back tomorrow."

I walk towards the house anyways. She runs up behind me. "I'm telling you, this is a bad time!" I disregard her. Luckily for me, the front door is unlocked. I enter with Taylor following closely behind me. Belly's giggling and it's coming from the living room. "Conrad, stop!" Taylor whispers frantically. I go into the living room and the muscles in my stomach tighten.

"What is he doing here?"

At the sight of me in the doorway, Belly gives the laughter a rest. Cam Cameron, that straight-edge she once dated, says, "Hey man."

"Belly?"

Belly grimaces at Taylor whom holds up her hands in surrender. "You remember Cam, right?" She sounds nervous.

I don't acknowledge whether I remember him or not. I don't like the proximity in which they're sitting either.

Cam notices my animosity. "I was just leaving." _Smart boy_.

"Oh, you don't have to go," Belly says.

He looks at her and then back at me. Shaking his head he says, "I'll see you, Flavia."

_Him and his stupid Latin_.

Cam brushes past me without another word and leaves. I look at Taylor. She shakes her head. "I'm not leaving."

"It's okay," Belly assures her.

Indignantly, Taylor points at me and mouths the word "behave." She leaves the same way we came in through.

I cross the living room slowly. Belly's broken leg rests upon the coffee table. I squint at her cast and notice the spot where Cam scribbled "Sextus." _Idiot_.

"That was very rude of you, Conrad."

That doesn't faze me. I catch sight of her suitcases in the corner. My jaw tightens. "When were you planning on telling me about Spain?"

Belly closes her eyes. "I was going to tell you at the hospital. You know, before you gave me the cold shoulder."

_We're not done here, _were her last words before I turned away from her.

"When did you apply?"

"I don't remember…"

"Tell me."

She can't even keep eye contact when she answers, "After you arrived at the summer house. I was certain that you were going to leave again."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Why would you think that?"

"At first it was hard for me to trust you. How was I supposed to know that you weren't going to get up and leave without saying anything? Every morning I'd wake up panicking, thinking that you would be gone."

I sink down beside her and bury my face in my hands.

"Conrad—"

"You should go."

Her hands cradle my face. I'm forced to look her in the eyes.

"Do you really think I should go?"

There it is again, the million dollar question. If I say yes, I know she'll go. It would be for her good—to get away. I recall the talk I had with Jeremiah. It clicks in my head that he was well informed about this study abroad program. Everyone knew except me.

"Yes," I say. "I think you should go."

Her nose wrinkles the way it always does when she tries to hold back the hurt. I feel her hands slacken and watch them drop soundlessly.

I stand up. "You need this trip."

"I guess I do."

I know just how hard she's trying to keep herself composed. I'm struggling to do the same.

"I hear Spain has delicious food and their music is enchanting. Imagine the culture and the people, that's an experience you don't want to miss out on."

Belly looks up at me. Her eyes are fighting to hold back the tears.

"Studying there would be amazing. And you know what? I don't think I want to miss out on that experience either."

She blinks. "What are you saying?"

"Let's go to Spain, Bells, just you and me."

"Do you really mean that? You're willing to go to another country?" Her face is filled with many different emotions.

I smile and sit back down. "I can't stay away from you. Not anymore." I connect our lips briefly. "I'd like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you don't mind." I've never been this bold. We're still young and we have many years ahead of us but I've always known deep down inside that this is the way it was meant to be.

Belly knows it too because she kisses me hungrily and stops for a second to say, "I don't mind at all." We laugh and then keep kissing. Our decision feels right. She pulls away and takes her infinity necklace out from under her shirt.

I touch it briefly. "I love you, Isabel Conklin. Infinitely."

_~~~THE END~~~_

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><p><strong>P.S. I'm thinking of writing a sequel to this. Let me know what you think, yeah?<strong>

**xoxo**


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